I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
They are going to name an STD after you.
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