Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
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