smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
