What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize