So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
