I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sick fucks of a feather flock together
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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