Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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