hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you made out with another girl for some wings
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
