I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
