Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
