so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize