Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
