I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
