My nipple is on Facebook.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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