I can't breathe out the right side of my face
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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