she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My breasts were aching with rage.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
