i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
