I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize