According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
