why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
