Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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