We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
