she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
