i always forget guys have bellybuttons
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
