i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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