things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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