Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
