I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
