Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
