He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
