it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
