Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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