Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
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