How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
