Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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