Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
