Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
