4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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