summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Of course I have a pirate flag
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
