Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
