I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My ATM looks so different sober.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
