wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
