next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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