Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
