You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
