Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Did I show you my penis last night?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
