She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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