It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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