can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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