I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
