My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I supernannyed him into submission
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
