So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
