38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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