How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
