She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
