big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
