Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
So many bounce houses so little time
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Randomize