can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
