She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
