actually, I'm a sock model
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
