you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
